September 3rd –
Lingering in bed, trying not to face the day. Having no choice, I got out of bed, convinced that today would be a great day. I can’t out run the sadness but maybe I can be a step ahead?
I feel so week that getting into the car is an effort. No sooner did I walk into Target’s to get a few things, I left without paying. I sat in the car as Joe finished the transaction. He said I looked gray. That usually means my numbers are down and infusions will begin. That’s not the way to start a great day, I think.
I picked up a shiny dime on the floor.
Hours later, I’m feeling better. Lots of powerade can do that to you. I begin to pack for my trip. But first, let me empty out the garbage bags in the hallway. We had some retail therapy these past few days, and the empty colorful bags were standing at attention, almost as if they were waiting for round two. As I walked to the dump waiter, I find another dime. Shiny as the last one.
I begin to organize my carry on bags and usually before I do that, I search all the pockets to be sure I didn’t leave anything from the last trip in there. And in the corner, in a tiny pocket there are 3 shiny dimes.
Dimes must be the key word of the day, I think.
A song comes on my IPOD and I push my bag to the floor and sit down for a bit. It was his favorite song. We had song it plenty of times when we used to hang out at City Island. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the unexpected treasure; a memory.
I quickly put on some dance music and it gives me the energy I need to sort through my suitcase. I pushed aside a small evening bag I was planning to take and when it fell on the floor, 2 dimes came out. Not as shiny but they were definitely dimes. Three more and I have a whole dollar.
My head was beginning to take on a mind of its own. Pounding unforgivably. I took some headache medication, laid down for a bit, and dozed off. Two hours later, I continued what I first started doing hours before but I just wasn’t into it. That’s a first for me. I’m usually packed weeks ahead of time but since I know what I’m packing, I wasn’t stressed. I decided, it was time to de-clutter and so I made piles of keeps, don’t keeps, throw away, donate. Two pocketbooks taking up space longer than I care to remember, were caught on a hook in my closet. Pulling it out, the bag slipped from my fingers and flew on top of my bed. I tossed it upside down to be sure there was nothing in there. A small envelope with a prayer came out. I read it and felt at peace immediately. It was about signs. I believe in them. They are all over. I figured, this was just a great heads up that something good was coming my way.
The rest of the day and evening went by and I was ready to just veg in front of the TV. Joe walks in with the mail, hands me a bag of some items he had exchanged for me earlier and then said, “Oh here’s your change. Weird huh? Three shiny dimes.”
It took me a few minutes but I sat up, looked on my dresser where I had placed the other dimes.
11 in all.
11 dimes on the 3rd of September.